Artisitic Talents

Sanjana once commented on how nicely Uttara was 'plating' the food.

"Why are you making design with your food?", she asked.

I chose to answer. "Sanjana, your mom is very artistic. From where you think you got your artistic talents?"

"Ummm", she continued after a deliberate hesitation, "from my art teacher?"

Come on, admit it

Sanjana was telling me a story that happened few years ago.

"... and then Sahil gave me one of the two stuffed bears he won."

Sahil couldn't listen to this without interrupting.

"No, Sanjana", he said. "Baba made me give one to you. Why would I give you my toy?"

Sanjana knew why. She said...

"Sahil, you were younger then, you used to like me."

Mean Boys

During the India trip Sanjana got frustrated with her cousin brothers

"All boys are mean", she announced.

Rujuta, her older cousin sister, decided to jump in.

"Sanjana, what about the boy you will marry one day?"

Sanjana provided a correction, "Tall, good looking boys are not mean."

Anybody listening?

Once Sanjana was thinking of a story and explained me the plot. Pretty soon she was lost. She said to me.

"Baba, I have no idea of what's going on. I guess I need to get better at listening to myself."

One thing is clear

Sahil came across a new word when he was studying, 'offspring'.

I tried to help with a hint.

"You should know what an offspring is. After all, you are an offspring."

Sahil tried his best to use the hint.

"So, now I know it's something bad."

Matter of time

Sahil was watching one of his favorite kid’s programs on TV. I noticed that one of the Moms on the show had put on more than a few pounds. Wondering if that’s part of the story line, I asked Sahil.

“Sahil, why has that kid’s mom put on so much weight?”

Sahil didn’t even blink. He said

“because she is a grown up.”

It's your day, Dad!

“Sahil, father’s day is coming up. What do you think you are going to do for me?” I asked Sahil.

Apparently Sahil had already given it a thought. He said…

“Baba, I am just going to give you five dollars and get it over with.”

Oh, the irony

"On second thought, I don’t change my mind."

- Sahil, falling back to his original answer in a fractions problem

Don’t worry, he is prepared.

Kids were seeking permission from Uttara to go to my office. She was about to say yes. But before that she also wanted to make sure that kids behave in my office.

“Make sure you are on your best behavior”, she said, “you don’t want anyone to yell at Baba, do you?”

Sanjana blew her chances by saying, “But you yell at him all the time.”

Help yourself

Uttara was almost ready to go out for a Diwali function.

"Sanjana, don't I look pretty?", She asked a leading question.

Sahil was listening in. Trying his best to be helpful, he volunteered a response...

"Mom, just check in the mirror."

Shortcut

I was helping Sahil with his studies. I was working on the concept of fractions necessary for the given problem. It seemed that Sahil wanted to skip that part.

"Sahil, be patient. Don't you want to learn this?", I said.

He replied

"No, I don't want to learn this. I want to know this."

Smart for his age

"Get your tray-tables. Today I am going to let you have lunch in front of the TV as an exception", I said.

"Sanjana, if you get my table, I will give you a dime.", Sahil made an offer to Sanjana.

"Okay.", Sanjana agreed to this exciting prospect.

Sahil said to himself, but loud enough for everyone to hear.

"Yeah, that's why I like being rich."

A real problem

"Baba, can you look for my teddy bear?", Sanjana asked.

I had recently cleaned up her room. I said "Sanjana, why can't you find it yourself?"

She answered, somewhat angrily...

"I can't, Baba. There is no mess in my room to search."

Bookworm

These days I make the kids read some books. Sometimes I ask them questions about the story to make sure that they really understand what they read.

So once I asked Sanjana, "Did you read the book? Are you sure?"

She wailed a bit...

"How can I be sure, Baba? You never quizzed me."

The hairy tale

Once I was combing Sanjana's hair. I told her that her Granddad never combed his daughters' hair. In fact, he hardly ever combed his own hair.

She had to get to the bottom of this. She asked...

"But, did he have hair?"

Always Helpful

While playing with Sanjana I hit my hand around her somewhere.

"Ouch", she said.

"Sanjana, I don't think I hit you", I said. "Why did you go 'ouch'?"

"I am not hurt", she said. "I thought you were hurt and needed an 'ouch'."

Life after death

Sanjana once told me that I would go to heaven when I die.

"Really?", I said, "What am I going to do in heaven?"

Sanjana provided me with the necessary life-after-death knowledge. She said,

"I think, first you have to find your ghost."

It begins at home

I turned the TV on for Sanjana to watch. The channel was showing a speech from Barack Obama, a presidential candidate at that time. I tried to take this opportunity to tell unenthusiastic Sanjana about him and his campaign slogan, CHANGE.

"Yes", Sanjana said, "he is telling me to CHANGE the channel".

Appreciation

"God must have a very difficult job."

- Sanjana, concluding her monologue after I said "I want to fly".

That's the only way

"Sanjana, why are you watching TV against my permission?", I asked.

"Because", she made her argument, "you didn't give me the permission".

We need a sequel

After watching a hindi movie (Aaja Nachle), Sahil wanted to watch the sequel.

"There is no sequel, this is it", I said.

"But", Sahil protested, "the heroine didn't even get married."

It's a particularly slow day

"I am so bored, I could read"

Consequences

Once I did not permit to play with his friends since he hadn't yet finished his homework.

"I am sorry, Sahil. You can't go out or watch TV as you have not finished your homework." Then I added, "These are not punishments, these are consequences."

Trying to understand the new word, Sahil said...

"I hate consequences. They are worse than punishments."

Striking question

Once I was telling Sahil about my first bowling experience. When I told him that it was a long time ago, he asked me if I was married at the time. When I said 'no', he had to know more.

"Then", he asked, "who decided to go for bowling?"

One would hope

During conversation I mentioned to Sahil that I had participated in a singing contest when I was a kid. So he asked me to sing that song for him. When I started, he stopped me and asked…

"Is that how you sang it?" and then added to clarify his question. "Or was it much better?"

What am I supposed to do, again?

We had Upanayanam (sacred thread ceremony) for Sahil. During the ceremony the Guruji told him that he now needs to do everything his Dad tells him. More amused than confused, Sahil asked the Guruji…

"And what if he tells me to float in the air?"

Father’s day

When the kids woke up on the Father’s day, I asked them

"Sahil, Sanjana, it’s morning. Is there anything you want to say to your Dad?"

Without missing a beat, Sanjana replied…

"Cock-a-doodle-do"

Division of labor

“I am going to buckle myself up”, Sanjana declared one day while getting in the van.

“If you are going to buckle yourself up”, I asked, “what should I do?”

She didn’t even blink. She said…

“Baba, I will buckle myself up and you can be proud of me”.

Traveling makes one smart

After a trip to India, Sanjana had to share her newly acquired knowledge with me.

“Some people have different countries, but all of them have the same world.”

Art Critic

"This picture is painted so well, I can tell it's a flower pot."

- Sanjana, after looking at a few abstract paintings.

Twenty fifth anniversary

I was telling Sahil about the upcoming anniversary of my sister. To make sure that he knows that it’s a big event, I told him that it’s the twenty fifth anniversary.

He was not impressed.

“So what’s the big deal?” he said. “They already had twenty four others like this.”

Ready with a plan

“Baba,” Sanjana asked one day, “how does one earn money?”.

“Well,” I answered, “you have to be good at what you do.”

“And what if I am good at everything?” Sanjana continued.

“Then,” I responded, “you will make so much money that you won’t know what to do with it.”

“Don’t be silly Baba,” She countered. “I know what to do with it. I will just put it in my piggy bank.”

Science fiction

Sahil once told me the following time travel story:

A man goes into the future and looks for himself. He asks his friends, now much older, about his whereabouts. The friends say, "we don’t know; he just disappeared one day". The man realizes what had happened and does some of the usual time travel trickery. Then he announces, "there I am". And, sure enough, there he was!

I enjoyed the story. After a moment of hesitation, he added with a chuckle

“Baba, I'm really glad that you didn’t ask me ‘how?’ when I said ‘a man goes into future’.”

And she is just learning

One day I was teaching Sanjana phonics. I would sound out the letters and she would blend it together to sound the word.

After trying a few words, she started to give me suggestions about which words I should try. She wanted me to try a word that starts with certain letter. So she said –

“Baba, now try the F-word.”

Accurate description

“I can’t eat this cheese macaroni any more,” Sanjana said.

“Why?” I asked. “You said you love cheese macaroni”.

“Because, Baba,” she said, “I am so full of it.”

On her way to literacy

“I don’t know how to read. I just remember the words and say them out loud when I see them.”

Party Girl

Sanjana was very excited about the neighborhood kids’ party. However once the party started, she was back in fifteen minutes. She complained –

“That is the most boring party ever. All they are doing is eating and talking.”

Let's get to the root of this

After the Daylight Savings time change, Sahil noticed that it was still sunny after his swimming class. When he asked, I started explaining how the time was changed to get the most of the daylight. He listened for a while and then said, in his best spare-me-the-unimportant-details voice

"Just tell me whose mistake it was"

Learning the facts of the life

After attending a couple of baby-showers in a row, Sanjana asked

“Does your tummy have to be fat for a baby-shower?“

Just demoted, or fired?

After learning recently that Pluto is no longer a planet, Sanjana asked me

“Baba, is Pluto still in the sky?”

Can’t live with him…

Generally Sanjana keeps complaining that Sahil bothers her a lot. So once after picking up her from her school, I declared that I am not going to pick Sahil up. I argued that since he bothers Sanjana so much, she should be happy that he was going to be stuck at the day care center for the whole weekend. Sanjana didn’t like the idea and she protested.

So I said, “Sanjana, I will pick him up only if you tell me that you like him”.

After hesitating for a long time she finally admitted, in a very feeble voice “I like him a little bit”.

I know exactly what I need

"Baba, can you give me an umbrella or a comb?"

So cold

Sanjana was describing a painting depicting a winter scene.

“It was so cold, even the snowman was freezing.”

Special observation

Sanjana was watching 'Barney' on TV. It's a character that teaches kids good things like manners, sharing, respect etc.

Barney was telling, or rather, singing, "you are special" to everyone. Sanjana found it necessary to share her newly found knowledge. She said...

"Baba, everyone on TV is special."

Pretending at its best

One day we were making silly animal sounds. I asked Sanjana...

"What does a dog pretending to be a cat sound like?"

Sanjana let out a very carefully thought sound, "woof".

"Sanjana", I asked. "Isn't your dog pretending to be a cat?"

"Yes, Baba", she said. "But it is still a dog."

If you were me

"If you were me, you would be crying"

- Sanjana describing her headache

Already a teenager

"You don't understand my life"

- Sanjana, trying to fight off my attempts to have a conversation

I knew there was something wrong

Sanjana was told about the spinning and rotation of the Earth at school.

That evening she informed me, “Baba, the world is moving and I feel dizzy.”

Make up your mind

“Baba”, Sanjana asked one day. “How much longer before I go to kindergarten?”.

“One hundred days”, I did a bit of rounding.

“A hundred days!”, she exclaimed. “I would be dead by then.”

“Sanjana”, I tried to put the timelines in perspective with the expected lifespan. “A hundred days is nothing.”

“So I will go to kindergarten tomorrow?”, she asked.

“No, Sanjana. Not tomorrow", I said.

She wouldn’t give up. “But you just said that a hundred days is nothing!”.

What wouldn’t I give up for this?

“Baba”, Sanjana shouted while watching the TV. “You have to get me this doll!”.

“No way”, I said. “You want everything you see on TV”.

Sanjana thought for a moment and cut a deal with me.

“Okay, don’t get me everything. Just get me this doll”